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“People want to be liked. We all crave attention and affection and we all reject shame. When we get embarrassed we send a thug version of ourselves to the forefront to do our fighting for us. We’re at the top of the food chain just under fear. We don’t want to be in a relationship to hear the words “I love you,” we want to be in a relationship to say the words “I love you.” We want to feel needed, and exceptional and we hate feeling insignificant. We want to ace a hearing test. We are binary creatures; if we’re the plaintiff, we want to win every dollar. If we’re the defendant, we want guard every penny. We want to make more money than last year. We don’t want to get cancer or die in our cars and we want the same for our loved ones. We go out on weekends to try and have sex while trying not to get punched in the face. We drink so we can be ourselves and not mind it so much. We’re desperate to be understood. We want to know someone else has felt it, too. We hate being judged unfairly. We want to make the person we heard wasn’t all that into us change their minds and admit they had us wrong. We want sunny skies with a chance of killer tornadoes, just to keep music sounding good. We take hours upon hours to admit to self consciousness. We don’t know exactly how to pleasure each other. We just want love. In any and every form.”
- John MayerMay272012 -
How To Tell If Somebody Loves You
Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but this person went ahead and did it anyway. They don’t want to see you looking like a fool with eyelashes and crumbs on your face. They notice these things. They really look at you and are the first to notice if something is amiss with your beautiful visage!
Somebody loves you if they assume the role of caretaker when you’re sick. Unsure if someone really gives a shit about you? Fake a case of food poisoning and text them being like, “oh my god, so sick. need water.” Depending on their response, you’ll know whether or not they REALLY love you. “That’s terrible. Feel better!” earns you a stay in friendship jail; “Do you need anything? I can come over and bring you get well remedies!” gets you a cozy friendship suite. It’s easy to care about someone when they don’t need you. It’s easy to love them when they’re healthy and don’t ask you for anything beyond change for the parking meter. Being sick is different. Being sick means asking someone to hold your hair back when you vomit. Either love me with vomit in my hair or don’t love me at all.
Somebody loves you if they call you out on your bullshit. They’re not passive, they don’t just let you get away with murder. They know you well enough and care about you enough to ask you to chill out, to bust your balls, to tell you to stop. They aren’t passive observers in your life, they are in the trenches. They have an opinion about your decisions and the things you say and do. They want to be a part of it; they want to be a part of you.
Somebody loves you if they don’t mind the quiet. They don’t mind running errands with you or cleaning your apartment while blasting some annoying music. There’s no pressure, no need to fill the silences. You know how with some of your friends there needs to be some sort of activity for you to hang out? You don’t feel comfortable just shooting the shit and watching bad reality TV with them. You need something that will keep the both of you busy to ensure there won’t be a void. That’s not love. That’s “hey babe! i like you okay. do you wanna grab lunch? i think we have enough to talk about to fill two hours!” It’s a damn dream when you find someone you can do nothing with. Whether you’re skydiving together or sitting at home and doing different things, it’s always comfortable. That is fucking love.
Somebody loves you if they want you to be happy, even if that involves something that doesn’t benefit them. They realize the things you need to do in order to be content and come to terms with the fact that it might not include them. Never underestimate the gift of understanding. When there are so many people who are selfish and equate relationships as something that only must make them happy, having someone around who can take their needs out of any given situation if they need to.
Somebody loves you if they can order you food without having to be told what you want. Somebody loves you if they rub your back at any given moment. Somebody loves you if they give you oral sex without expecting anything back. Somebody loves you if they don’t care about your job or how much money you make. It’s a relationship where no one is selling something to the other. No one is the prostitute. Somebody loves you if they’ll watch a movie starring Kate Hudson because you really really want to see it. Somebody loves you if they’re able to create their own separate world with you, away from the internet and your job and family and friends. Just you and them.
Somebody will always love you. If you don’t think this is true, then you’re not paying close enough attention.
By
May242012 -
“What connects with people is you connecting with yourself.”
- John MayerMay232012 -
If I Ever Get Around to Living
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] Artist: John Mayer
Album: Born and Raised
Plays: 82Love, love love this album.
May232012 -
“Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.”
- “Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future.”- UnknownMay212012 -
May192012
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May192012
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“I always knew who I was. I always knew what I wanted to do and… I wasn’t going to… I wasn’t going to let this game beat me, you know…I wasn’t going to let the game beat me. I could have like fallen by the wayside. I could have been a statistic. I could have been this guy you know, that had the bad childhood and just kind of like lived life as a result of that or I could turn it around. I knew in my head I wasn’t going to let that get the best of me.”
- Bob Harper, TrainerMay162012 -
May162012
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Wanted You More
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] Artist: Lady Antebellum
Album: Own the Night
Plays: 40May162012 -
“If you love deeply, you’re going to get hurt badly. But it’s still worth it.”
- C.S. LewisMay162012 -
May152012
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11 Reasons Why Dating An Older Man Is Awesome
My new tall, dark and handsome boyfriend was standing across the room looking so fine in his shirt; I couldn’t take my eyes off him. It was my pal’s birthday party and the first time I had ever dragged my latest man-friend out with my buddies. I wasn’t sure how it would go, yet there he was, charming the pants off them all by himself, busting out his A-material small talk with some friends in a corner. He was doing his best to impress. It was very sexy. He was going all out for me.
Meanwhile, I was at the snack table and before I could curse myself for leaving him to go in for another cheesy cracker, I was accosted by a buddy’s wife I barely knew, a bitch named Sue. “How old is he?” she pried. After politely playing 20 questions with Sue about my new boyfriend, I knew this was the one she was getting at. I wanted to say something like, “He’s not as old as those frown lines make you look,” or “He has the biggest d**k I’ve ever seen!” Anything that would shut her up and let me enjoy my prized romance. Instead I shoved a cracker in my mouth and mulled over her question as I pretended it was hard to chew. It was more like her question was hard to swallow.
Yes, my new man was older than me, much older than me. But I wasn’t some gold digger trying to claw at his cash account, or even a woman with daddy issues. I just thought he was the hottest, funniest man I’d ever met. He was more exciting to be with than any of the 20-something guys I knew. And before I even knew what a great screw he was, I was already smitten with his wit and the way he filled out a pair of pants. Are there betterreasons to date someone? Should I really have let 15 years come between me and happiness, just so I could avoid judgment from girls like Sue? I really should have answered her question with the long list of truly great things about dating an older man.
- You Get Off: He’s confident in bed. He knows what he’s doing … and if he doesn’t by then, well, then he’s hopeless and you don’t have to waste your time trying to teach him.
- He Knows Cool Stuff You Never Heard Of: Generation gaps can be a good thing culture-wise. He can introduce you to music and movies that are totally awesome classics.
- He’s Super Supportive: He’s got a career and is secure in his work life, so he’s totally supportive of your ambitions. And probs full of good advice! Not to mention the quarter-life crisis is kinda like the mid-life one.
- Someone Has Already “Fixed Him Up”: That relationship didn’t work out. And now you can reap the benefits of nice shoes and hand towels in the bathroom.
- He Doesn’t Stay Out Late: He might be a ladies’ man, but after a certain age, he’s not out on the prowl every night in da club lookin’ for a fresh piece. He just wants to hang with you.
- He Knows Himself: Nobody’s perfect, and by now, he understands his main foibles. So, he can even communicate them to you to prevent friction.
- You’re The Pretty One: It’s shallow, but it’s always nice to feel extra sexy.
- He Doesn’t Want To Be Alone: He’s already hit that point when men realize they don’t want to be all by themselves. Even if they intend to stay confirmed bachelors, they still want company.
- Salt N’ Pepper Hair: So hot. Sure, not every middle-aged guy has got it, but it certainly ups your chances.
- No More Going Dutch: There won’t be that awkward pause when the check comes; he’ll always take it because a man of his years makes more money. You won’t even feel the slightest bit guilty.
- He Is Going To Be This Rad Forever: Some peeps just lose their lust for life at a certain age, but your dude has still got it! He can not only keep up with your young butt, but he piques your interest. You know for sure that time doesn’t slow him down. He’s always willing to try new things. He’s not going to turn into some couch potato all of a sudden. In another 20 years, he’ll still be l-i-v-i-n’.
May152012 -
“I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.”
- Jon KatzMay152012 -
Unexpected Love
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.] Artist: Esnavi
Album: Unexpected Love - Single
Plays: 4May152012
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“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.” --Neil Gaiman
